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Our language of distortion...

Writer's picture: Avra PoelmannAvra Poelmann

Hello beautiful Souls. My message today is about distortion in the way we project our conversations.

Distortion is a result of communication in which the original intended meaning of a message is replaced with a different interpretation when the receiver constructs or delivers the meaning of the message.

Below is a chart of examples of some, day to day uses of distortions. We have to ask questions when we misunderstand something and try leave out the question WHY? Using how, what where or when? questions will stop so many arguments.

For example : Uttered distortion sentence " I hate cabbage it makes me want to vomit all over the floor" Explore this not using why?

*What makes you hate cabbage and feel nauseous?

*When did you realise you hated cabbage and it made you feel

nauseous?

*How did you come to hate cabbage and realise it made you

nauseous?

* Where did you discover you hate cabbage and that it made you

nauseous? Did you really throw up all over the floor?

We all relate here. There is someone you know who exaggerates hugely, there is someone who blows things out of proportion. There people who make assumptions and jump to conclusions with a distorted view. We all know someone who only thinks negatively. We all apply distortion in our communication. This is often used to illustrate or demonstrate one's emotions and feelings instead of the actual issue or challenge related. It is not just others that apply distortions!

When we find ourselves delving into distortion we need to ask our- selves if this is the truth or is it a distortion? If we are more aware of distortions we will have a better undertanding of reality. We have to identify those automatic thoughts and employ rational thinking. We also need to learn to ask the questions to clarify if we do not understand what is intended when information is relayed.

We spend an awful amount of time saying: " that's not what I meant" "you don't understand" and "you took that the wrong way"!

This kind of conflict and confussion is often found when distortion becomes a habitual way of speaking and communicating.

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Avra Poelmann

Email:apoelmann@gmail.com

Mauritius

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