Hello beautiful Souls. I hope you all had a good Monday. My message today is about being reactive.
This is one of the hardest things to control. Reactions are mostly instinctive where as responses are usually done with thought. This is the most difficult thing to learn. We have to teach our selves to respond instead of to react. I still struggle with this one and am learning more and more to stop the anger as it doesn’t serve me at all. I process and move on. That does not mean I don’t get angry for a short while . I am human so must acknowledge that emotion.
The way to exercise this control is to be mindful. We have to pause and almost watch a movie. We need the stop ourselves, validate and acknowledge we are angry. This pause allows the heat of anger to pass, it's counting to 5 before proceeding. Then we take note of what is triggering our anger. What causes us to have a quick fuse. It could be; hate, jealousy, insecurity, embarrassment, pain or any emotion that tends to control our lives.
When we validate and acknowledge these specific reasons we find we have a calmer approach. Our Ego's answer to a situation is to strike out and always vent. We need to be defensive of our well being and need to explain the anger and not express it. Say "I am angry because I feel eg :hurt and betrayed !" Always try ask yourself , is it going to make a difference to be angry, can it mend the situation?
Asking yourself firstly “what is a compassionate way to deal with this dilemma I am facing?” If you are faced with someone's angry onslaught try to allow them to vent and then listen. Again acknowledge and validate their anger or emotion. Say " I can hear you are angry and feeling hurt, how can we make this right for everyone." Now there is no conflict only good communication and resolving what needs to be made fair. We all struggle with self control, some more than others.
Let's try be less confrontational, less reactive and more mindful and aware of what triggers our anger. Sometimes saying nothing is a far more powerful truth and an outcome where we think more than speak. Passive aggressive is also not ideal though, so be sure if your choice is to say nothing it’s because it not worth the anger. Keeping that anger suppressed can run a risk of exploding untimeously too! It’s about not just listening to others but yourself to and actually hearing the view first is important to try understand the context.
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