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A reminder on how to deal with boundaries. What you allow will persist!

Writer's picture: Avra PoelmannAvra Poelmann

Hello beautiful Souls. My message today is about permission to be treated well.

Giving ourselves or other's permission how to treat us is based on what we allow! We have to set a clear messages and make sure that what we need and want, is in a such a way in which we chose to be treated.

It has to be absolutely clear. When people treat you badly it is often about the lack of boundaries and understanding or, you are not being able to be strong enough to say NO!

A good exercise to do to achieve fair treatment is to list three things in your life that you are simply tolerating or putting up with. What in your life right now is it that is making you annoyed, unhappy or angry? (Even if this is a family member).

Highlight these three areas and examine whether there is something that you are willing to change. Then, decide if you are accepting the result of this situation or dynamic...or, are you really just keeping quiet. (passive aggressive).

If your answer is that you just sweep it under the rug, tolerating it, then, consider whether you are feeling that you are deciding on picking your battles.

Maybe you are just being a people pleaser and are secretly resentful. If this is the case, then you definitely need a broom and a bigger dust pan.

Take ownership of how you are wanting to be treated and commit to be respected. Is the situation a tempory issue or is it something you need to take immediate action on. Sometimes we may need to be patient and allow the journey of good timing to resolve the situation. Knowing it's tempory, we can adjust to the fact that it too shall pass.

This scenario applies to our own tolerance too, by allowing other's to use us or even abuse your kindness is about us, allowing ourselves to be disrespectful to oursef!

It may be time to stop excepting yourself to be second best. You, are always first! You are not selfish, you always need to look out for YOU!

The very people who are upset by your boundaries are the very one's who require better guidelines of what you are prepared to tolerate. Sometimes you have to make decisions that hurt your heart but calm down your Soul! Tough love.

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Avra Poelmann

Email:apoelmann@gmail.com

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All sessions are private and confidential and coaching does not involve the diagnosis or treatment of mental disorders as defined by the Psychiatric Associations. Coaching is not a substitute for counselling or any Psychotherapy. Clients are reminded that they are solely responsible for their physical, mental and emotional well-being during coaching sessions. This includes all choices and decisions made and all sessions are strictly on a professional basis.

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